The Forbidden Fruit

Why is that you want something more when you know you can’t have it? That urge to touch it, feel it, taste it, have a moment with it, have that wholesome feeling in your heart, that content feeling when u take a deep breath I crave more for it. Why is this programmed in our heads? It’s funny because lactose intolerant folks can’t physically have a slice of pizza. But yet, they take that risk.

Is that risk worth it? When you know having that ounce of something forbidden will give you maximum happiness but that can destroy you. Break you, make you suffer. Well if you take the pizza, I would say yes, it’s worth the risk; but what about people.

The risk or the damage left by someone would make you feel like a meteorite fell on your heart. It's something like, someone is crushing your heart like a foil paper that is later tossed in the garbage. 

It’s paradoxical. It's like a forbidden fruit. We would be in a brown study, critically analyzing the pros and cons so that you don’t want to feel that pain again. But, you could care less about the pain for that heap of joy you achieve from the fruit.  The more you know you cannot have it for long, you don’t even want to let go either.

Somehow you feel reluctant to open up again. Feel again. Smile on the inside again. What if you risk it, and it was all for nothing? You pour yourself into something so vague, all for what? You feel like you want to go into your past, where everything was cozy and nice, familiar, unbroken things, yet you push yourself forward, try to live in the present and not the past, think of your future. But the future hurts doesn't it? Not knowing hurts a little.  

What would you do with that hole? Was the wholeful feeling of that moment worth the meteorite affect? That is the dilemma.